the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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