I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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