They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
