I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
