Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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