Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
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