Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I did not marry a roomba.
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