Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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