O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my vag is so smooth its legendary
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
