That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
