Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
