I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
