I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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