I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
