If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My hand turned me down
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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