glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
