I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
