the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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