I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
