Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
