yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
