found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize