so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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