im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
