Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
