Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
the raccoons are back...
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