i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
