I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
two words...techno handjob
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
