so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You smell like a Billy Joel song
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
