Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she looked like the before picture.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
