A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
