halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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