i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
