so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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