"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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