I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
