I just made out with a guy for $7.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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