I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
