I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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