yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
