If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
