Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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