hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
