You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize