Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
