Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let's get the cat blown out
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
