my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
