How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
