I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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