Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
