I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
