Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
