that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
