Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
