She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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