Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
