Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
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Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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