Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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