dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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