So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
