i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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