He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
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These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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