if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
