I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
