Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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