so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
nutella sex= disaster
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
