never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
