I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
