This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He passed out mid-signature
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
