Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My vagina just clenched in fear
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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