I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
