ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
