You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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