i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
